Watch a video about teens and unsafe sex
One particular minute you are playing kiss-chase inside the playground and sex does not come into it. The next minute your friends are obsessed about when everybody will shed their virginity.
You may be thinking about sex, however the reality of it may be confusing. It requires time for you to understand what sex is all about, and simply because you wish to know more does not imply which you must rush into something.
If you are feeling pressured into possessing sex, you are not alone. You might really feel just like the only virgin, but the typical age that teenagers start possessing sex within the UK is 16. This is true for boys and girls so not everyone who says they’ve had sex is telling the truth.
Good relationships start off with friendship, and trust builds from there.
What is peer stress?
Peer pressure is the stress that your friends and also the men and women you realize, place on you to accomplish one thing you don’t need to do (or do not feel able to do), which include have sex. There are diverse sorts of peer stress:
apparent peer stress, for instance: “Everyone’s doing it, so need to you”
underhand peer pressure, like: “You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand”
controlling peer pressure, for example: “You would do it in case you loved me”
Good causes to wait till you're prepared
The stress that your friends place on you is worse than the pressure you put on oneself. Most of us have to take care of it at some point, but it is tricky when pals brag about having sex and criticise you for being a virgin.
Not everything you hear is accurate. They may very well be exaggerating to make themselves look a lot more skilled than you. Rushing into sex simply to impress your pals or partner could leave you feeling like a fool simply because you didn’t make your personal decision.
It could possibly allow you to to understand that:
getting in enjoy or fancying a person doesn’t imply that you simply have to have sex
not getting sex is not a sign that you’re immature
saying no to sex just isn't terrible for anyone’s overall health
It’s fine to say no or to say that you simply would like to wait a though, even when you have had sex just before. Uncover out 15 issues you'll want to know about sex.
Making your personal choice
Don't do some thing you are not prepared to do just to please other folks. You’re additional probably to regret your first time for those who do it beneath pressure. You are also more most likely to forget about contraception and condoms, which assistance to prevent pregnancy and safeguard you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), which include chlamydia.
Possessing sex will not make your boyfriend or girlfriend like you far more or remain with you. Your very first time is essential, so assume cautiously about it and take it gradually.
Every person (girls, boys, lesbian, gay, straight or bisexual) deserves to create their very own choice in their own time. Sex can be wonderful when each people like each other and really feel ready. Don’t let anybody inform you otherwise.
How to stand up to the stress
Standing as much as peer stress means deciding irrespective of whether to go along with absolutely everyone else or make your own personal choices. Your pals may say things that place you under pressure. Listed here are some things you'll be able to say back to them to help keep them quiet:
They say: "You haven’t had sex because nobody fancies you."
You say: "I haven’t had sex since I’m not afraid of saying no" or "I’m waiting for the right person".
They say: "You’ll get dumped for those who do not do it quickly."
You say: "We like each other for greater than just sex."
They say: "We’ve all performed it loads of times."
You say: "And Santa actually climbs down the chimney just about every year."
They say: "You should be gay."
You say: "As if waiting for the correct person indicates anything about my sexuality. Gay and straight persons can wait for the best person" or "So what if I am?"
They say: "You’ll get a reputation for getting frigid."
You say: "Waiting for the ideal particular person makes me intelligent, not frigid."
If you wish to speak to an individual in self-confidence, you may contact the Sexual Overall health Helpline on 0800 567 123 (for under-25s).
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